September 30 2013

September 20 2013

Dear prayer friends,

My trip was initially wonderful. We have designated this to be a 25-day journey of Psalm 103:1-2 “Praise the LORD, my soul; all my inmost being, praise his holy name. 2 Praise the LORD, my soul, and forget not all his benefits.” I usually love verses 3-5 about God’s blessings of forgiveness, healing, salvation, etc.

I had the opportunity to share at an elderly fellowship on Hezekiah. I was reminded how we all need to trust in the Lord each and every day. We did manage to visit quite a few places with significant memories, reminiscing of our experiences and praising God for all the blessings He bestowed on us.

Well the good days were really brief. Last Thursday I discovered that there was a big lump under my armpits and even Victor could feel it, so it was not a good sign. For the past few days, I note that the lump is growing larger and so we change our ticket to an even earlier date and we would be leaving this midnight. This is the thing about cancer. Although I look fine, no one (except God) knows what is going on in the body. When the organs are hit, the decline can be rapid. If I cannot board a plane I would be stuck with no insurance for health care here. I would become a burden to Victor and my sister. Fortunately our travel agent was able to help us just before the holiday to get our tickets changed. So now we are set to go this midnight.

There is never enough time to say goodbye. I am getting more ready to let go and let God. I realize I may meet Him soon and now all that I want is to be able to have complete rest in His sovereign will and to commit my mind body and soul to Him for His glory. All the other things now become unimportant.

I have been working on the healing book with Victor. I asked myself whether I really believe in the stuff I have written…Do I really believe in God’s healing – that He can, that He is willing, that He loves us and cares that we are in pain, that He knows our barriers to receive healing….? Do I really believe that other people’s prayers matters? (The centurion for his servant, the Canaanite woman for her daughter and Jairus for his daughter despite the news that she is dead, etc….) My answer is that I do. But I pray to experience all this first hand as well.

No matter what the path is. Jesus’ prayer at Gethsemane “not my will, but thy will” supersedes all prayers and requests for healing. God determines how He would glorify Himself in our lives and deaths as well. The ultimate and final prayer of Christ is that we commit our soul into our Heavenly Father’s hands. So I pray that I can hold onto this.

I need all your prayers as I journey into this unknown turf.

Doris