August 9 2010

August 9 False Fire Alarm

On Saturday morning at 1 a.m., there was a fire alarm in our building. I was quick to wake up, put my pants, hat and jacket on. These days my hat is very important because I really can feel the chill whenever my bald head is exposed to any kind of breeze, quickly leading to lightheadedness! I would even wake up at night when my scarf slides off – cannot believe how much our head needs protection.

While Victor was trying to figure out with the neighbors what was going on with the fire alarm, I was busy getting packed. So I had two big bags of documents/IDs and my backpack with the laptop computer ready when Victor returned home confirming that it was a false alarm. He was quite amused by my look as well as my readiness for a serious fire escape. He told me that most people were just carrying a small bag. Plus I could not have carried all that stuff. I agreed with him but all the documents seemed important. Letting go is difficult.

Well! While I learned that when I set my “priorities” and evaluate what is important, I should be careful not to “judge” God’s assignments. (When it is God’s assignment, it is significant. I cannot really assign a value to teaching children’s Sunday school versus a graduate course, or encouraging a person versus professional counseling.) I wrote about this just a few days ago. Everything is important. However I would need to make sure it is a load I can carry. I may need to let go of some.

So far this round of chemotherapy has been okay. Getting used to the side effects helps. I have indulged myself with tasty food (with MSG) and lots of sweets (non-nutritious) for a few days to counter the bitter taste in my mouth. Well it was bad for my body. So the lesson learned is that eating bad food for the taste is a bad idea. These days I am looking forward to finishing the last chemotherapy shot. Generally I am upbeat, trying to enjoy each day and each event as much as possible.

Thank you for being there.