April 3 2010

April 3 A Thought on Hope

Yesterday was a lousy day. I felt tired all day and was unmotivated to do anything. Wasn’t sure whether it was physical or psychological. I doubted my body would ever recover. First, my “straightening up” seems to be very slow. Second, I am gradually integrating the scars as part of my new body. Third, the reality is that chemotherapy, radiotherapy and hormonal therapy all have their side effects and may have long-term impact on the body. It is difficult to imagine that I can become “better.”

No wonder Job began to curse his date of birth (Job 3) when he was in great pain and anguish. He could not see beyond his suffering and hope for any good in the future. In the midst of afflictions, who can imagine that there is light at the end of the tunnel? Does the tunnel even have an end?

Yesterday was Good Friday; I seem to easily identify with the disciples who fled. I wonder what they did between Good Friday and the Resurrection Day. What was there to hope for when Jesus was crucified? He was buried in a tomb with a stone at the entrance and guarded by soldiers (Matt 27:57-65). There was not much left to do – except to prepare spices for the anointing of the body. Who can ever envision resurrection?

I cannot know what would happen at the end of the journey. Or how the journey may end. I can hope for the best. Yet if I expect a particular outcome or circumstance, it is more than likely I would be disappointed. My body may not recover in the way I would want it to be. I need to place my hope in God Himself and to wait patiently for His good will.

Rom. 8:24-25

24 For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has? 25 But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently. NIV