September 23 2010

September 23 Seeking His Path

Today I had my 13th session of radiotherapy, meaning I am more than half-way through and there are only twelve more to go! Now I pray more intensely during the treatment session and it goes fast because I barely make through 3 prayer items. It is amazing how focusing on the Lord can do.

Yesterday was a trying day. After the radiotherapy session, Victor and I went to Macau for my class. The ferry ride was so rocky we both broke into cold sweat. Victor got the bag ready for vomit. Fortunately we were spared. It was so bad I questioned again whether I can manage teaching in Macau. When we arrived, it was raining so hard I prayed for it to turn into a drizzle so that I could go back to campus. I ended up getting late for my appointment because I simply could not walk as fast as I used to. I had small group meetings with students yesterday. The small groups went well. I love what I do! I noted that when my mind is focused (on tasks or with people), I can be so absorbed I forget my hunger, physical pain and everything (e.g. how hard the ferry ride was). The positive side is that I really enjoy what I do and I can be very productive in such condition. The negative side is I can be so focused on the mind and the activities that I totally neglect my bodily needs. I need to find out the activity level that is good and fitting for me.

Whenever I pray for healing, I yearn for restoration of my health, particularly my energy level. I am waiting on the Lord to show me more about His will and His plan for me such that I can make changes accordingly. I realize what I long for most is not the revitalization of energy, but rather I want to be assured that I am walking in the center of His will - that is where I can find peace. Pray with me that I may know His path and follow with joy.