October 1 2015

Oct 1, 2015

Thank you for your prayer and support! It has carried me through this time. I experienced peace despite increasing pain and discomfort. I was hospitalized once due to intense pain and had pleural fluid drawn from my lungs. Unfortunately the release from discomfort was short-lived. During hospitalization, I had quite some time alone doing nothing. As I quietened down, I felt ready to meet my Lord and pray that I may be released from this body on earth. I had closure with most things and felt ready to leave. There is not much to look forward to now as my activities are increasingly restricted. I can only wait on Him. “But now, Lord, what do I look for? My hope is in you.” (Psalm 39:7) I have to wait for His timing and His sovereign will. Now I merely desire to be relieved from the body. I pray earnestly to be ready to embrace God with faith, hope and love. Is that possible? What exactly does that mean? Can I be joyful and peaceful when the moment comes? My sister has come back from U.S. to care for me. I am thankful for all the love and support I have received from family and friends, knowing that I deserve nothing. I am so privileged to have you! Victor has also been wonderful and has come to accept my plight. It is difficult for him to see me in pain. We are journeying together and trust that he also would be blessed with faith, hope and love. I am confident that God will have new blessings in the days to come. I depend on God in breathing, eating, sleeping, and disposing bodily waste because they are a challenge nowadays. I am also praying not to be entirely body-centered and pain-focused. I pray to draw close to Him and submit to His sovereign good will. I pray to always hope in healing because with Him nothing is impossible. I pray to live day-by-day with gratitude and joy. I don’t think there is much for me to do on earth. If there is, I pray that God will show me. Although I cannot do much, I can pray. So I am going to devoted myself to prayer. If you have any prayer request, send me an email (moknyap@gmail.com) or whatsapp me. It would be the most meaningful task while waiting on the Lord on earth!