May 5 2010

May 5th First Day of Chemotherapy

Yesterday I had my first chemotherapy shot. I went early in the morning to get ready. Everything went smoothly. There were discomforts but not pain.

I have been studying the word “heal” in the bible. In Exodus 15: 22-26, the Israelites went to Marah where the water was too bitter to take and they began to grumble. The Lord instructed Moses to cast a piece of wood into the water and the water became sweet. The Israelites were reminded that “…for I am the Lord, who heals you” (v26) Yesterday I prayed that the Lord would mysteriously put a piece of wood into the drugs and that my body would be able to receive them as good and healing agents. For it is the Lord who heals. Please pray with me in this process.

Although I preferred to be quiet during the intravenous injection of the drugs, I learned quite a few things listening to other chatty patients’ stories. Some of them have “severe” forms of cancer. Some have more family support and some try to manage on their own. People compared notes. There is really no point comparing ourselves with others conditions or circumstances. We are not better or worse off. The future is not known yet. We are responsible only for our treatment journey.

I recognize that this principle should apply to life in general. Sometimes we set ourselves up for unnecessary misery when we compare ourselves with others based on irrelevant (or worldly) criteria we set up. These criteria can be individual attributes such as appearance, accomplishments, personality, family characteristics, social status, network, positions of influence and power, etc. It can be anything. This preoccupation can drive us to envy and jealousy as we strive to be “one-up”. One warning sign of pride is the desire to be “one-up”. This is harmful, especially when it diverts us from making meaning in our own life journey.

Comparing notes is different – I certainly learn something new about managing the chemotherapy process comparing notes with others. In life, if we are not comparing to pit ourselves against another person, the process is drastically different. It would be sharing, encouragement, mutual learning and camaraderie in the life journey. We can learn from others’ successes and failures, share tears and joys and inspire each other to improve and grow. We are each a unique individual created by our loving Father. Only God knows our past, present and future. So let’s set our hearts on discovering what we can become in His love. May the Lord free us from competitive comparisons and help us embrace each other’s companionship in His love!