May 27 2010

May 27 2nd Round

Tuesday

Tuesday I had my second shot of chemotherapy. Since I am more familiar with the steps, it went smoothly. The Lord had this verse to prepare me: “But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed.” (Isaiah 53:5) No suffering on earth is comparable to His and He chose this path so that by his wounds we are healed.

My home-help's son was sick so she had to take off early to care for him. I managed with my sister's help on Tuesday. Please pray for wisdom when to have the home-help back because I need to be extra cautious about infection.

In the middle of the night I had diarrhea. The abdominal cramps were scary. Initially I was not sure how bad it would be and whether we would need to go to the emergency room. In pain and panic my confidence collapsed – not sure whether I can manage the 6 cycles. I called upon the Lord to help me and thankfully I was able to fall asleep again and had a good rest.

Yesterday morning I woke up feeling fine again. I praised the Lord for carrying me through. This incident was minor but I still felt totally wiped out and unmotivated – don’t care about news, TV or anything. I just managed our meals without the home-help. Victor was exhausted too because of the evening class and helping me through in the middle of the night. Once again I am reminded that my taste of "suffering" is trivial compared to what our Lord had gone through.

Balding

By the way, my “balding” is almost complete over the weekend. Victor captured that the shredding process was worse than being bald. Hair was everywhere, sometimes appearing in the food and water. People had warned me in advance but it was still gross. Victor was quick to sweep the floor and clean the tub so I did not have to deal with the mess too much. His sensitivity was a nice surprise to be commended!

It is difficult to imagine that God cares about each piece of our hair!

I have been wearing my blue hat almost all the time now to keep my head warm. With the blue mask, I am now visibly a cancer patient!

Today

While I know that “doing” is not everything, I am not sure if I am “being” much either. “Doing” can be observed, described and even quantified. “Being” is hard to define. What is my “being” now? Today I desired to be the Lord’s baby, resting in His lap.

Not sure what to ask you to pray for. The Holy Spirit would know!