March 3 2106

Mar 3, 2016

My life is now organized in 3-week cycles of chemotherapy. After discharge from hospital, my lungs have remained about the same. There are days I feel that death may be imminent if my lung collapses again or if an infection turns into pneumonia. Other times I believe that I may still live for a while and God has tasks for me to complete. I swing back and forth wanting to be with the Lord and to stay on earth with loved ones. Well, Philippians 1:21-26 (For me to live is Christ, and to die is gain…) Family and friends have visited during Chinese New Year and this past month. I am so blessed!  Now saying goodbye is very painful as it may be the last time.  In the midst of such pain I notice that my love for folks is deeper than I previously thought.

Physically I am very skinny (90 lbs) now. I work hard on eating. Praise God for His constant supply of soup, dumplings, and desserts provided by loving sisters. They keep my appetite alive! May the Lord also nourish them richly with His love!  I also do more breathing exercises. It is difficult to keep my motivation when you only see decline no matter what you do.

I took the challenge to teach Sunday School with Victor on Sunday mornings. This immediately turns out to be the highlight of my week, keeping me focused on worship matters and the study of His Word. Otherwise, I feel quite purposeless as I have completed almost all my tasks on the to-do list. I am close to finishing another book with Victor on 10 healing miracles. Victor wrote the messages. I wrote the bible study questions, the applications for the sick and suffering as well as for the supporters/caretakers. As I do the editing and revisions, I am most delighted to say that I believe and strive to practice what I have written. [From day 1, I want to commit to His sovereign good will.] I am now enriching the content with a brief section on psychological perspectives. After I am done, what is next?! I worry a bit. May the Lord lead.

Prayer Request: 1) To gain weight, 2) To breathe well, 3) To be hopeful despite the rising cancer marker,   4) To keep my spiritual focus.

Doris